What Does It Mean That An Elder Must Be the Husband of One Wife?

What Does It Mean That An Elder Must Be the Husband of One Wife? I answered that question on this episode of Real Truth. Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Observations:

  1. 1 Timothy 3:1-2 does not say an elder must have always been the husband of one wife.
  2. 1 Timothy 3:1-2 does not say an elder must currently be the husband of one wife.
  3. 1 Timothy 3:1-2 does not say a man cannot be an elder unless he is the husband of one wife.
  4. 1 Timothy 3:1-2 does not say a man has to be married to be an elder.
  5. 1 Timothy 3:1-2 does not say an elder cannot have had any treachery, dishonor, and disobedience to Christ in their past.
  6. 1 Timothy 3:1-2 says an elder’s life must be known for being above reproach in how they live today.
  7. 1 Timothy 3:1-2 does not say a man who has divorce in his past but is humble about it and repentant of it cannot be an elder.

Scripture:

“It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer,
it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach…” 1 Timothy 3:1-2

“An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife,
temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money.” 1 Timothy 3:2-3

“I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is
good for a man to remain as he is.” 1 Corinthians 7:26

“I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He
considered me faithful, putting me into service, even though I was formerly
a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent aggressor.” 1 Timothy 1:12-13

“But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among
you, as is proper among saints…” Ephesians 5:3

“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 11:1

Other Resources:

Why Does Paul Say, “Those Who Have Wives Should Live As Though They Had None”?

What Is The Meaning of Jesus’ Exception Clause in Matthew 19:9?

What’s The Best Way To Start Off A Marriage?

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What Is the Biggest Mistake Most Parents Make?

What Is the Biggest Mistake Most Parents Make? I answered that question on this episode of Real Truth. Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Principles:
1. It’s not what we do as parents, but rather what we don’t do, that provokes our kids to anger.
2. We are to be a loving authority in our child’s life, not their best friend.
3. Children eventually become angry if you let them believe that life is all about them, and there are no consequences for their choices.
4. One of the ways God drives us to grace is by allowing us to experience the pain of living a rebellious life.
5. God wants you to be a present parent who lovingly disciplines.
6. You are going to have your child on the path to destruction if you continue to let them do what they want to do without consequences.
7. If parents do not discipline their kids, the world will and it won’t be because it loves them.
8. The biggest mistake is not allowing kids to experience little consequences, because later, they will be angry about the larger, unavoidable consequences of an undisciplined life.
9. Admonishment is not enough as fools advance in their sin.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” Colossians 3:21

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

“For whom the LORD loves He reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.” Proverbs 3:12

“For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives.” Hebrews 12:6

“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” Hebrews 12:11

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap.” Galatians 6:7

“Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.” Proverbs 23:13

“You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.” Proverbs 23:14

“Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not desire his death.” Proverbs 19:18

“The one who despises the word will be in debt to it, but the one who fears the commandment will be rewarded.” Proverbs 13:13

“Good understanding produces favor, but the way of the treacherous is hard.” Proverbs 13:15

“…Then if I am a father, where is My honor? And if I am a master, where is My respect?’ says the Lord of hosts to you, O priests who
despise My name.” Malachi 1:6

Thus the sin of the young men was very great before the LORD, for the men despised the offering of the LORD. 1 Samuel 2:17

“Now Eli was very old; and he heard all that his sons were doing to all Israel, and how they lay with the women who served at the
doorway of the tent of meeting.” 1 Samuel 2:22

“He said to them, “Why do you do such things, the evil things that I hear from all these people?” 1 Samuel 2:23

“No, my sons; for the report is not good which I hear the Lord’s people circulating.” 1 Samuel 2:24

“This will be the sign to you which will come concerning your two sons, Hophni and Phinehas: on the same day both of them will die.” 1 Samuel 2:34

Other Resources:
How Do I Talk To My Kids About Sex?
Can the Bible Be Trusted?

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Click the following link to view our entire archive of questions and answers.

When Should I Stop Sharing Truth With My Friends?

When Should I Stop Sharing Truth With My Friends? I answered that question on this episode of Real Truth. Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Principles:

1. Your non-believing friends do not speak the same language as you.

2. Never stop loving your friends. BUT, there is a time to move away from admonishment and move in with transforming hope.

3. The longer you know somebody the more your walk matters than your words

4. Let the goodness of God be your song.

5. Stop preaching at people but never stop sharing the love of Christ.

6. Be a person who talks as much to God about men as you do to men about God.

7. Remember you were converted, not because of your brilliance, but because of grace.

8. Pray for and love others in all that you do; let kindness mark your words.

Scripture:

“But a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually appraised.” 1 Corinthians 2:14

“Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matthew 7:6

“Do no reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you, Reprove a wise man and he will love you.” Proverbs 9:8

“When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest.” Proverbs 29:9

“but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;” 1 Peter 3:15

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?” Romans 2:4

“but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;” 1 Peter 3:15

“I will sing of the lovingkindness of the Lord forever;
To all generations I will make known Your faithfulness with my mouth.”
Psalm 89:1

“Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation.” 1 Peter 2:12

“clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 1 Peter 5:5

“And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing,” 2 Corinthians 4:3

“in whose case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelieving so that they might not see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.” 2 Corinthians 4:4

“But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared,” Titus 3:4

“He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit,” Titus 3:5

Other Resources:

Biblical guidance on moving in with transforming hope:
1. Live a holy life

2. Do not impose your views

3. Propose a better way

4. Clothe yourself with humility (1 Peter 5:5)

How Do I Talk To My Friends About Jesus?

What Are Three Questions Good Friends Should Always Ask?

If I Ask, Seek, and Knock Will It Be Given to Me? (Matthew 7:7)

If I Ask, Seek, and Knock Will It Be Given to Me? (Matthew 7:7) I answered that question on this episode of Real Truth Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Principles:

  1. Faith is not a force, and God is not a genie.
  2. God is going to give you what is good.
  3. Praying in Jesus’ name will not make a bad request happen. Just as not praying in Jesus’ name won’t keep a good request from happening.
  4. We need to always remind ourselves that we have a good Father.
  5. The knocking of a repentant sinner with a broken and contrite heart, who asks the Lord to fellowship with them, will not be refused.
  6. God will sometimes use our not getting what we want to show us more of who He is.

Scripture:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Matthew 7:7-8

“…in which some things hard to understand, which the untaught and unstable distort, as they do also the rest of the Scriptures, to their own destruction.” 2 Peter 3:16

“Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he?” Matthew 7:9-10

“This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.” 1 John 5:14

“Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.” John 14:13-14

“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.” John 15:7

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” James 4:3

“Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.” James 1:17

“And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:4

“Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, Though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, Though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be not cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the Lord, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord is my strength…” Habakkuk 3:17-19

“Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” Revelation 3:20

“The Lord is not slow about His promise…but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9-10

Other Resources:

What God promises we will find if we “ask, seek and knock,” is more of Him. Even in the midst of trials and troubles on this Earth, there is nothing better than greater intimacy with the God of heaven. Jesus is promising us that we can always receive this if we ask/seek for it.

“If you should ask me to state in one phrase what I regard as the greatest defect in most Christian lives I would say that it is our failure to know God as Father as we should know Him.” – Martin Lloyd Jones

Why Pray If God Already Knows Everything Anyway?

Should I Pray In Jesus’ Name?

11 Things to Teach Your Son Before He Heads Off to College

Much to my surprise, I have found dropping off (“turning loose” may be a better term) a young man on a university campus to be a much more sobering experience then dropping off a young woman.

The first two times I loaded the Suburban and headed to college towns it was to drop off my oldest daughters, which, as you can imagine, has its own set of concerns. When I dropped off Ally and Kirby, they were ready to meet, enjoy, and integrate into their college campuses with their eyes wide open and their hearts cemented to the idea that whatever college was about, it was more than just themselves.

My girls and I had long ago shared all the necessary conversations about the duties and dangers of being a young woman in a university setting. Though it is never easy to leave any child you have invested in and enjoyed daily for eighteen years in a strange land to care for themselves, I knew it was time and we were all sad, excited, and ready.

Fast-forward a few years and all of a sudden my wife and I were about to make our way to Fayetteville, Arkansas, home of the Razorbacks (the boy had said “no” to the Ivy League option) to drop off our firstborn son. As the day neared, and much to my surprise, I had a growing and much different sense of responsibility in sending off a young man to college then I did a young woman. I knew college meant my son, like my daughters before him, would have a new and greater freedom to live and lead his life as he wanted, AND I knew that there were dads, just like me years earlier, who were dropping off their freshman daughters where they would either be blessed or burdened by the young men around them.

One might think that dropping off a girl and leaving her alone around a bunch of newly unleashed young “men” with unlimited freedom and limited maturity was the more daunting task, but such was not the case for me. Without going into too much detail, suffice it to say that I found it more sobering to turn loose a potential predator then I did potential prey.

What you have below is a summary of the last hours of conversation this father had with his son as he dropped him off to prayerfully be faithful in “Fayetteville and forever.” I pray daily that these truths would be embedded in his heart for more than just the four years of college, and you can be certain that I am praying now that they will be in some way useful to you as you seek to be faithful yourself and with any men you are charged with shaping. Fayetteville is not the only place that needs faithful men…right where you are does too.

So to my son Cooper (and later Cade and Camp) and to you today, I say…

It’s all about Jesus.

  • College is not a time to taste the world. It’s a time to increase your appetite for God’s Word.
  • First, believe that college is not a time to sow your wild oats. It is a time to show your world Whose you are.
  • John 1:1-4Colossians 1:15-171 Corinthians 6:19-20

Jesus is all about bringing you to the Father, and the Father is all about restoring His glory in you.

If you know the Father and the Son and yield to the Holy Spirit, you will love and serve others.

 You can’t love and serve others if you don’t lead and feed yourself.

How you start each day, each week, and each semester determines more than you can imagine.

Who you choose to run with and live life with is how you will choose to run and live.

Who you are when you’re alone is alone who you are.

Women are not play toys. They are God’s daughters. Honor them. Protect them. Serve them.

  • Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
  • Wait to taste the lips of a woman. Don’t waste yourself on lust.
  • Consult your dad on all dates and consider every time you are alone with a woman a date.
  • 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Proverbs 31:30Proverbs 22:31 Timothy 5:2

Do not choose your friends or your future career by how much fame or finances they offer.

 Be wise. Be humble. Be fun. Beware of the lie that those three are mutually exclusive.

  • You have a powerful enemy who wants you to be foolish, be prideful, and believe that faithfulness to the Father is a fast track to futility. He is a liar.
  • John 8:44Proverbs 13:13-15Psalm 16:11

Be ready. Be bold. Be kind. Be faithful.

If you’re dropping off your own son at college (or know that you will be in a few short years), now is the time to teach him these things. And if you are the newly-minted freshman yourself, commit to building your adult life on these life-giving truths.

When a Leader Fails, How Long Until They Can Be Restored to Ministry?

 When a Leader Fails, How Long Until They Can Be Restored to Ministry? I answered that question on this episode of Real Truth. Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Principles:

  1. It is a red flag if a person who has compromised their ability to lead is focused on a timetable for restoration more than personal transformation and repentance.
  2. Restoration of fellowship should not be confused with restoration to leadership.
  3. A fallen leader may or may not ever be restored back to the same level of ministry, but that does not mean that person cannot be forgiven.
  4. Pulling someone who has been wounded by their own sin out of frontline ministry is the most loving thing you can do.
  5. The fallen leader’s goal should not be restoration to their previous position; the goal should be walking in humility before the Lord and others the rest of their life.
  6. Trust is earned, it is not deserved.
  7. Make sure the leader is exhibiting godly sorrow, not worldly sorrow.
  8. One of the best ways to lead others and restore trust is to NOT demand they consider you trustworthy.
  9. Restoring intimacy with Christ through confessing and forsaking is worth infinitely more than any job, position or title.
  10. There is no probationary period with your Father in heaven. Come to your senses and He will run to you and slaughter the fatted calf for you.

Scripture:

“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.” Psalm 51:17

“He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.” Proverbs 28:13

“…appoint elders in every city…namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion.” Titus 1:5-6

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a citadel.” Proverbs 18:19

“For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10

Recommended Resources:

What Does The Bible Say About Covenant Membership And Church Discipline?

What Is One of the Biggest Mistakes a Pastor Can Make?

Check out the story of “The Prodigal Son” in Luke 15:11-32

Can Someone Do the Work of the Lord and Not Be Saved?

Can Someone Do the Work of the Lord and Not Be Saved? I answered that question on this week’s episode of Real Truth. Real Quick.

Show Notes:

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.” Matt. 7:21

“Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’” Matt. 7:22

“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’” Matt 7:23

“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter.” Matt 7:21

“Therefore they said to Him, ‘What shall we do, so that we may work the works of God?’” John 6:28

“Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.” John 6:29

“When Jesus had said this, He became troubled in spirit, and testified and said, “Truly, truly, I say to you, that one of you will betray Me.” John 13:21

“And He called the twelve together, and gave them power and authority over all the demons and to heal diseases.” Luke 9:1

“When the apostles returned, they gave an account to Him of all that they had done. Taking them with Him, He withdrew by Himself to a city called Bethsaida.” Luke 9:10

“The disciples began looking at one another, at a loss to know of which one He was speaking.” John 13:22

“So Simon Peter gestured to him, and said to him, “Tell us who it is of whom He is speaking.” John 13:24

“Jesus then answered, “That is the one for whom I shall dip the morsel and give it to him.” So when He had dipped the morsel, He took and gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot.” John 13:26

After the morsel, Satan then entered into him. Therefore Jesus said to him, “What you do, do quickly.” John 13:27

“Now no one of those reclining at the table knew for what purpose He had said this to him.” John 13:28

“And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’” Matt. 7:23

“For He rescued us from the domain of darkness, and transferred us to the kingdom of His beloved Son.” Col. 1:13

“Therefore bear fruit in keeping with repentance;” Matt 3:8

“But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth.” Col. 3:8

Principles:

  1. The work of God is to really believe what Jesus says.
  2. God is going to use you regardless of your submission to Him. It makes no difference to Him. It will make an eternal difference to you.
  3. The Church is never in more danger than when false teachers tell the truth, because it builds confidence in their lies.
  4. Make sure you do the work of God, which is to believe in Jesus with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Additional Resources:

  1. What Is the Gift of Prophecy?
  2. How Do I Know If I Am Saved?

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What Is the Golden Rule and Is It in the Bible?

What Is the Golden Rule and Is It in the Bible? I answered that question on this episode of Real Truth. Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Principles:

  1. Jesus doesn’t call us to limit our response, He calls us to love with our response.
  2. It is not enough to avoid evil, Jesus commands us to do good
  3. The Golden Rule is a call to action.
  4. We are compelled by Scripture to love our enemies. Love is always active.
  5. If you’re not living out the Golden Rule, that may be the reason your evangelism isn’t very effective.

Scripture:

“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 7:12

“You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord.” Leviticus 19:18

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” Matthew 22:36

“And He said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:37

“The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:39

“On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” Matthew 22:40

“For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” Galatians 5:14

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’” Matthew 5:38

“But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” Matthew 5:39

“But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be great…” Luke 6:35

“… and you will be sons of the Most High; for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men.” Luke 6:35

“He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8

“Is this not the fast which I choose, to loosen the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke…” – Isaiah 58:6

“… and to let the oppressed go free and break every yoke?” – Isaiah 58:6

“So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.” Galatians 6:10

“Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,” 1 Corinthians 13:4

“Love does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered” 1 Cor 13:5

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Cor 13:7

“Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Matt. 5:48

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

“Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matt 7:6

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.” Matt 7:7-8

“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” Matt. 7:12

Recommended Resources:

Was Jesus Teaching Pacifism in Matthew 5:38-42?

What is the Gospel?

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Click the following link to view our entire archive of questions and answers

What Does Proverbs 14:4 Mean?

What Does Proverbs 14:4 Mean? I answered that question on this week’s episode of Real Truth. Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Principles:
1. Isolation is the garden in which idiosyncrasies grow.
2. You’re going to become more like you should be when there are oxen in your life.
3. All of us together are better than any of us alone.
4. Beware that you don’t quickly get rid of “problems” (teammates) that are producing a lot of good in your life.
5. Proverbs is recommending that you don’t love a “clean manger” more than a dirty one that provides for you the benefit of an “ox.”
6. The children that cause you “trouble” are a gift from the Lord that will bring you great joy as you tend to them in the manger of your home. (Ps. 127:3-5)
7. Don’t be inflexible and intolerable. Be gracious and long-suffering.

Scripture:
“Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, But much revenue comes by the strength of the ox.” Proverbs 14:4

“To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion” Proverbs 1:4

“To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles.” Proverbs 1:6

“Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17

Recommended Resources:

TEAM – Together Everyone Achieves More

Can the Bible Be Trusted?

What does it mean to be in Biblical community?

How Do I Start A Hard Conversation?

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Click the following link to view our entire archive of questions and answers. 

Was Jesus Teaching Pacifism in Matthew 5:38-42?

Was Jesus Teaching Pacifism in Matthew 5:38-42? I answered that question on this episode of Real Truth Real Quick.

Show Notes:

Principles:

1. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus references the last part of the Ten Commandments that speak about how we are to relate to one another.

2. The Sermon on the Mount is a message on how Kingdom people are called to live and love others.

3. Jesus is teaching a Kingdom ethic to heirs of the Kingdom. He’s describing the heart of a disciple, not the qualification to become one.

4. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus is correcting His followers’ understanding of the law and teaching it’s true intention.

5. Retaliation and asserting rights is NOT the first response of a citizen of the Kingdom of heaven.

6. The Law was there to limit human aggression but the love of Christ implores us to excel still more.

7. The Bible does not teach that we should let people be abusive towards us.

8. The reason most people hurt you, is because they are hurting. You ought to be God’s source of grace in their life.

9. don’t confuse your obligation as a faithful follower of Christ with your role as a faithful citizen of your God ordained government. (Romans 13:1-7)

10. Christians can and should participate as ministers of God in the prosecution of evil as part of a God ordained, sovereign, nation-state.

11. Be a peacemaker, not a pacifist. A minister of reconciliation, not a punching bag. (James 3:18)

12. It is not loving to let someone continue in sin towards you.

Scripture:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also.” Matthew 5:38-40

But we know that the Law is good, if one uses it lawfully, realizing the fact that the law is not made for a righteous person, but for those who are lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinners… 1 Timothy 1:8-9

“For I say to you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will not enter the Kingdom of heaven. You have heard that the ancients were told, ‘You shall not commit murder’ and ‘Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.’ And whoever says, ‘You fool,’ shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; ” Matthew 5:20-22

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Matthew 5:27-28

If your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into hell. Matthew 5:30

…but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:32

But I say to you, make no oath at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is the footstool of His feet, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. Matthew 5:34-35

But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil.” Matthew 5:37

But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:20-21

But if there is any further injury, then you shall appoint as a penalty life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise. Exodus 21:23-25

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Matthew 5:9

…for He Himself is kind to ungrateful and evil men. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Luke 6:35-36

…or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right. 1 Peter 2:14

Brethren, even if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted. Galatians 6:1-3

But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed.” Matthew 18:16

But Jesus was saying, “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing.” And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves. Luke 23:34

Love…does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered. 1 Corinthians 13:5

If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12:18

Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 2 Corinthians 5:20

Other Resources:

Biblical “Pacifism”: Anybody who takes the name of God should never act aggressively toward somebody else.

Conflict Resolution Field Guide

How Do I Start A Hard Conversation?

What Does It Mean to “Overlook A Minor Offense”? 

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