11 Questions To Regularly Ask Your Kids

Todd Wagner's Questions to Ask Your Kids

The Wagner Family

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My wife and I were asked to speak a couple of weeks ago to a large group of parents on the topic of “Leaving a Godly Legacy.” (Click here to listen to that talk.) We were encouraged by the presence of so many parents and especially the passion and leadership modeled by the Mom’s leading the ministry at Watermark Community Church. We spent well over an hour talking about the topic.

At one point we shared how we regularly like to give our kids a chance to give us feedback/ help us measure how we are doing at modeling for them the things we HOPE we are modeling for them. ( Deut 6:4-9) While the specific questions change each time, the general idea is still the same. We give our kids a chance to give us direct feedback on the full spectrum of our parenting/leadership.

Below is the latest set of questions I use for the “Wagner family survey.” I encourage you to use them if it would be helpful with your own kids, and please feel free to add some better questions of your own (be sure to leave them in the comments as well!) My only encouragement to you (in addition to actually doing this) is to keep it short, specific and easy to answer. This isn’t the SAT….though it just might be more important!

Questions to Ask Your Kids

  1. What have been some of the best times you have had with your Dad this past year?
  2. If you had to give me some advice on how to be a better Dad, what would it be and why?
  3. If you and I could sit down and talk about ANYTHING…what would it be?
  4. What are some of the things that are making you anxious, fearful or discouraged right now so I can pray for you.
  5. What is something that you would like to do with me?
  6. How can I help you grow in your love for God and in your ability to serve Him and live faithfully for Him?
  7. What has been the best thing I have done this last year, or that we have done together as a family this past year that has helped you the most in your understanding of God and His love for you?
  8. What would you say has been the biggest area of growth for you in the last year?
  9. What have you learned about God/Christ/faith this last year that has blessed you?
  10. If you could grow in any area in the next 12 months….where would you want it to be?
  11. What do you think your Dad is most passionate about?

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4 thoughts on “11 Questions To Regularly Ask Your Kids

  1. I like these. I want to make sure we keep open communication with our kids & this seems like a great way to do so. What age would you suggest starting this? We have a 6, 4, & 2 year old & it seems like these questions are a bit above their level as of yet… Or are they?

    • Ruth…I’d start verbally as soon as you can…and when you do it make it conversational, kind of like it “just came up”, more than an interview. As they get older you can ask them for 10 minutes to jot down their thoughts (and then celebrate their willingness to do it for you).

      My wife and I recently did the conversational approach with our three oldest kids. We took them out to a new/nice restaurant and laughed and worked the questions in. It never seemed like an inquisition and it was a blast for all of us.

      Keep it fun, age appropriate, conversational and short!

  2. AS a granparent I look to the future of our growing younger families and This is very awesome.
    Listening to the children will build a relationship with them and for their future they will need this point of refrence. Good Job!!!!